Day 8: Back to the daily grind

Nice, distracting vacation is over and it's back to the day job. Somehow this is getting easier. Who knew? Well, aside from everyone who told me it would ;)
I'm still focusing on the "fix-it" stuff. I keep thinking back to that stupid Skype conversation. I pushed you. I was so hurt and upset and just wanted to get it all out and didn't let you do things in your own time. It hurt too much to drag it out. You said you weren't sure what to do, what if you regretted it in a month? And I answered, you will, but that's not a reason to keep you from doing what you feel now. Maybe what I should have said was, "let's think about this. Maybe we just need some time on our own to think through what we both want. Then, when we're cooled off and have thought it out, we can discuss what's best for us." But I didn't say that, I said come on, out with it, if you want to do it than just do it already. I analyze it over and over, but, I reacted that way for a reason. I could have fought it, but didn't. I didn't because I was feeling the exact same way. How can I be so upset about you feeling the same way I am? It's almost comical how ridiculous we can be (by we I mean humans in general haha).

The only thing that brought me to tears today... emailing the family. Now, let me say that friend....and friend....oh and other friend....and ex of course, all found it odd that I wanted to email the family. But, I think maybe people just don't understand our relationship. It makes sense to me. They never met the family or saw me with them so of course wouldn't have any concept of that relationship. But they felt like family to me, and treated me like family. It's not fair for that to just, poof, be done, no goodbye, no thank you, no good luck in your future endeavors. I just couldn't get past the need to say something! So I emailed them, mother, sister, and sister-in-law (it would be weird to send an emotional email to the males, I recognize that at least). I just said that I was so grateful to have met them and that they were wonderful to me and how hard that aspect of the breakup was going to be.
I just don't think that's weird!

And that was Day 8- 3 goodbyes and a smidgen of tears