Day 14: A Good Sign

I skipped an entire weekend of entries, and, even better, I don't feel like going back and writing one for each day. I'll take that as a good sign that I have less and less going through my head about this. I do have one reoccurring concern that really has to do with the breakup in general and not so much the ex. Even though this is a so-called private blog (I keep it public but keep my identity private and have kept it secret from anyone who knows me) I've found that I've still clung to the habit of being vague and safe like I do with my travel blog for my friends and family. I would never type anything super negative or any intimate details. But here, I should feel comfortable doing that right? I've opened up, but still hold back on some things.

Well one constant thing probing at me is...s-e-x. (pun unintended LOL, I noticed it when I read back over the entry) Ex was my first. I had planned on waiting until marriage, but changed my mind. It wasn't so much an oops so much for that, I planned it, talked about it, went to the doctor first...all the right steps to making that decision. And I'm very comfortable with it, no regrets. However, where do I go from here? I can't still use the "no sex before marriage" rule against future dates when I already have. But I also do not want to become active with multiple partners while trying to find Mr. Right. As 60's housewife as I'm about to sound, I fear we live in a society where sex is not only a normal but even expected part of dating in your twenties. Hell, dating at all. I'm already worried about finding someone new, but I feel like my unwillingness to sleep with future dates will make it all the harder for me. I can just hear people's response to this fear. "The right guy will come along" "You just be yourself and someone will appreciate that"... blah blah blah. We'll see about that. Or maybe we'll see 3rd date after 3rd date that never turns into a 4th because I won't put out.