I wonder how many times people realize that they never truly "loved" that person. Can you really for real love someone and still know it's best to not be with them? That sounds like a load of crap to me.
One thing we had in common was that we weren't very good at the "L-word." People would ask me "Have you guys said I love you yet?" and he thought that was crazy, of course none of his guy friends were asking him that, but girls do, apparently. When he finally did, I of course felt it myself, but still had a hard time saying it back. From the first time, until the breakup (probably about a month later) we still only said it a handful of times. I initiated it once...right after sex. I think that's a normal emotion haha. He said it to me when he kissed me goodbye at the airport and when I stupidly asked him about it later, he said that he meant it. I have a hard time deciding how I feel. If you question whether or not you love someone shouldn't that answer it for you? Or what if I really am that emotionally inept that I can't figure it out. I know that I would have done just about anything for him. I know that I 90% of the time put his needs or wants before mine. You do that because you love someone right? But I knew I didn't want to marry him. So I doubted if I could truly love someone but not want to spend the rest of my life with them.
So, say I was indeed, "in love," then when does that stop? Will I wake up one day and realize that feeling is over? Or will it take another guy in the picture to finally dissolve those feelings?
*I called you from my old cell phone last night before bed. I got some message first in Chinese than English that I couldn't make a call but I just wanted to press my speed dial #3 and see your name pop up above the picture of you holding your nephew. I don't know why. It made me tear up. I blame Period and Jodi Picoult for that.*
And that was Day 30: a question with no answer
And that was Day 30: a question with no answer
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