Today was my first day back to teaching classes and it was totally helpful to keep busy. I even managed a morning shower without crying. I still felt like I had been punched in the stomach but no tears. After lunch we had a school-wide talent show. And that's when I made mistake number two. Looked at his Facebook page. I guess a few days ago I only saw one of the "comments" on a girl's photo and this time I saw a previous one. It was hard to see those comments coming from him toward another girl but even worse that this particular comment was from over the weekend. That's when I was in town, trying to spend as much time with my boyfriend as I could during a busy wedding weekend. Why were you already distancing yourself and looking at other girls during that time... what the hell happened?
So that was a bad move, I managed to hold back the water works but had to go to the talent show feeling awful. After school I knew I should have gone to the gym but I just couldn't. I sat on the couch watching TV and doing stuff on the computer until I fell asleep at 9, again. At least even though I can't get myself motivated to work out, I haven't been pigging out. Quite the opposite thankfully, I can't eat anything at all without feeling like I'm going to puke.
I tell myself over and over that this is a good thing and in a few years I'll be so thankful we didn't keep up the charade, but right now, I completely understand how girls end up staying with the wrong guy for years. Being with the wrong person has got to be better than feeling like this, but I know it would only be temporarily better.
AND THAT WAS DAY 3- one bad moment
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