Day 83: Moving Forward

As I’ve mentioned, I keep going back and forth on this whole mess. Sometimes I just want things back the way they were, sometimes I’m excited about what’s coming in the future, and sometimes I’m terrified at the prospect of dating again. But, that’s what this blog is for. To document the ups and downs of how I’m feeling and get through. I think it’s an interesting social experiment for reflection in the future. Anyway, so today’s feeling is ready. I’m ready to close the door, tie up loose strings, be done, and move on. I don’t know where that came from honestly. I decided when I get home next week, I need to see him right away to get his computer back to him. I don’t want to wait it out and let myself get anxious about the situation and what might happen. I want to give it back and be done. That doesn’t mean not ever talk to him again. I’ve said before and I still feel that we could be decent friends. But I’m still analyzing things and having weird thoughts and I think once I get home, return the computer, and get settled back into my life, I’ll be able to move forward and see what else is out there. That’s what I want, but I’m also terrified.