I have a crush! How fun is that?! I feel all giddy and 16ish...but I'll get back to that in a minute.
First, my recent dates.
Friday night I had dinner with a new Internet guy...I guess that would make this 16? I think We went to an Asian restaurant that was overpriced and not great. But all in all in was okay. I, as usual, didn't really feel any chemistry but that's nothing new and he was worth a second shot. Saturday I made plans with 17, also new. I had to work that night and it went pretty late so by the time I got off work we didn't have many options. I ended up going to his apartment which is definitely against my better judgement for a first date but I texted my friend his address haha It was pretty good, easy conversation. Same old same old though, wasn't sure I felt any chemistry. Turns out I haven't heard from him anyway so I don't have to worry about whether to try again or not.
Today 16 asked if I wanted to have dinner at a place where you can play some games too. I definitely had fun but realized I just wasn't going to feel anything towards him. Then, the end of the date came, we were in the middle of the parking lot and I went to hug him goodbye, but unfortunately he went in for a kiss and I ended up giving him a pursed lip peck, then a hug....aaaahhhhh soooooo awkward. oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh it was one of those horrendously embarrassing awkward moments that you fear happening throughout the entire date but it actually did happen. Long story short he texted me after to apologize for the awkward kiss and express interest in another date so I told him the truth, that I had fun but didn't feel any chemistry. Once again, no one has made it past the 2 date curse.
Okay okay, back to the crush =)
I've talked to 2 friends about it now who both think maybe having these stronger feelings for crush than I realized I had is affecting my feelings towards all the other guys. Which leads me to the question: Can you only "like" one guy at a time? Surely not.
Now there are 2 problems, well kind of 3, with crush. 1, he is considerably younger than me and I know that might not bother some people, but it weirds me out a little and is part of the reason it has taken me so long to acknowledge the crush. See, crush is number 5. This is the point where it would be fun to actually have readers who go scrolling back to find out which one 5 was.
Another issue is that he's totally hotter than me, truth be told. Friend said that was stupid of me to make that decision for myself but it's true. The only thing that evens it out a little is the fact that I'm the "older woman" but if he were 5 years older or I was 5 years younger, he would be way out of my league. I have about 20 pounds to lose and he's....mmm, just yummy ;) We barely talk at work, I can never figure out how to flirt with him which is weird because I flirt easily with other guys at work who I'm not interested in, just for fun. We've never hung out outside of work so I don't know how to figure out if he'd even be interested without flat out asking and well that is just plain scary.
I don't normally care, but I wish I had readers at this point to give me feedback.
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