It's probably a good sign that it took a lot of work to figure out the number for my title and that it's been so long since I've updated. But, I'm not doing this for the viewers (obviously, haha, I don't think there are any) I'm doing this for me so, I decided it's time to update. Last time I posted I described the horrific scene with ex where I managed to lose all sense of how to be cool and breezy. Well, although nothing else is going well for me right now someone out there decided to give me a "redo" and thank goodness for that! Ex called me to tell me that he had come across a chair of mine. I completely forgot that I gave it to them forever ago when they were short on living room furniture. I happened to be on his side of town anyway that evening so I told his I'd stop by after to pick it up. I made sure I looked and felt confident before going over there and was FINALLY able to pull off breezy! Ha, it actually wasn't hard, I didn't have to try, or fake it, I really did feel confident and completely over things so I guess that's what came across. He on the other hand, not so breezy my friend. I was literally smiling when I got into my car after because he was so awkward and seemed nervous. I cannot stress how good that felt.
I suppose it's about time now for this blog to transition into a dating blog instead of a post-up. It has been 153 days, apparently, and I'm back in the country, so no excuses anymore, time to get out there (aside from the fact that I'm currently living with the 'rents so I'm not full out attempting to date until I get my own place). However, I did have one date. Friend set me up with her colleague and it went really well. Only problem was about a week before the date he had accepted a job back in his home state and was moving. So, we knew going into it that it wouldn't really go anywhere and we were able to just hang out with friend and her bf and have a good time.
I've also been hanging out a lot with bgf (best-guy friend). We've known each other since middle school and at some point after college started to become fwb off and on. As soon as I got back into the country, we started hanging out and per our typical style, started messing around again. It's weird because we ALWAYS end up doing this, yet we've never tried just regular old dating, haha. I adore him and value his friendship enormously and hate that we always eff it up with our damn hormones. So we talked and decided that we're too good of friends to let it get all muddled and need to halt the physical activity. To be entirely too honest (lord help me if anyone I know actually stumbled upon this), doing "stuff" with him just made me think a lot of ex, unfortunately. He was a fixer-upper in a lot of areas on how to be a good boyfriend but that just wasn't one of them. The guy had skills and you can't help but compare when someone new comes along. What if I start dating someone I really like, but he's just not as good as ex? Ugh, that would suck (no pun intended, ha!) I had zero experience in this regard prior to ex and surprisingly that isn't a conversation I've had with my friends even though we talk about everything. So, I'm really curious how this will play out in my future.
And that was day 100-153
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